Illegitimi non carborundum

The Evidence Lock-Up

Property of the Santa Barbra Police Department

A voicemail from S. Spencer, left for B. Guster: 5/4/08, 1:43PM
(approximately forty minutes before the explosion.)

Gus, it’s me. We’ve got him. I just need to stop as Psych to check one more thing then it’s show time.

Black piece of plastic, thought to be part of the detonator discovered in the lobby of Psych. Entered into Evidence: 5/4/08, 3:58 PM

The only piece of the detonator remaining intact. Thought to be part of a homemade bomb. Pieces like this are available by the millions in hardware stores. A single partial fingerprint was lifted from its surface though it has yet to be identified.

Portion of the transcript of the interview between Detective R. Gibbons and Head Detective C. Lassiter: 5/5/08, 6:23 PM--6:36PM

[Gibbons]:  It is my understanding that you were among the last people to see Spencer alive.

[Lassiter]: I was part of the team to first respond to the Psych bombing, so yes, it was myself and detective O’Hara to arrive on the scene.

[Gibbons]:  I was not asking about the bombings. I was asking about Shawn Spencer, police consultant, psychic.

[Lassiter]: Alleged psychic

[Gibbons]:  You were noted by several separate people to have spoken with Spencer

[Lassiter]: He appeared in fine enough shape, a little singed, but coherent enough to call me Lassie-face and be an inveterate pain in the ass. Spenc—Shawn, Shawn is the only person I have ever met that can’t even take a bombing seriously. I told him to stay put. That we were going to have to take him in for questioning. It’s not my fault Spencer doesn’t stay put.

[Gibbons]:  Did Spencer give any indication of where he was going.

[Lassiter]: He said something about spirits showing him a killer. I told him if there were really spirits around they’d have told him not to go into the office and that was all.

[Gibbons]:  Thank you Detective Lassiter. If we need any more from you, we know where to contact you.

[Lassiter]: Contact you? I’m head detective and this is my case.

[Gibbons]:  It is the chief’s opinion that yourself and O’Hara are too close to this case.

[Lassiter]: Too close to this
case? Detective, I don’t even like Spencer, you can’t just come in here and take me off the case!

A cassette found in a tape player in the bedroom of S. Spencer. Entered into evidence: 5/6/08 at 10:15 AM. Time and date of original recording unknown.

[Spencer’s voice, out of breath] I may just be in a tiny-little bit of trouble. There has been someone following me for the past day and a half and he’s tried to kill me at least once and I’m like ninety-seven percent sure he’s outside my apartment right now. The spirits tell me he is working with the Bordelli family.  [There is a knock on the door] Shawn isn’t here right now. This is his cousin Enrique. [There is a loud crack] Hey, it’s you! You know you’re totally slick— [clattering]

[end of recording]

Note found on J. O’Hara’s front doorstep. Entered into
evidence: 5/6/08 at 11:00 AM. Time and date of origin unknown

The note is slightly singed around the edges, but legible. A handwriting specialist has confirmed the author to be Shawn Spencer.

Jules!
Someone just tried to blow me up.
How weird is that? Anyways I’m sending
you everything physical I’ve got on the case.
With any luck you’ll be able to put
these guys down.

Hugs and kisses!

-S

[there are no papers attached to the note, though the staple in the upper right hand corner suggest that the note had an addendum]

Partial transcript from the interview between Detective
R. and H. Spencer: 5/9/08, 10:08-10:24 AM

[H. Spencer]: No, I haven’t heard anything from my son. Didn’t even  hear a thing was wrong until I saw it myself on the six o’clock news when I saw that his office had blown up. I didn’t worry because the report said no one was hurt.

[Gibbons]:    You made no attempt to contact your son?

[H. Spencer]: Of course I made an attempt to contact him! What kind of father do you think I am? When I couldn’t get in touch with him and couldn’t find him in any of the hospitals I stopped looking. This is par for the course for Shawn. He gets scared and he runs. Three days is by no means the longest time he’s been missing. He’ll drop a postcard in a week or two from Mexico and when he’s good and ready he’ll skulk back into town so he can try to recruit Guster into a new pet hotel scheme.

[Gibbons]:   What do you make of Shawn’s recording?

[H. Spencer]: Detective, my son above everything else loves to be the center of attention. Trust me, this is probably some elaborate ploy so he can see his own funeral.

[end of transcript]

Transcript from interview #2 between Detective Gibbons and B. Guster: 5/10/08, 9:01-9:44 AM

[Gibbons]:    Mr. Guster, can you please
elaborate on your case

[Guster]:     What, the case from Psych? You want me to think of this  when my best friend’s missing?

[Gibbons]:    Calm down Mr. Guster, it is entirely possible that Spencer’s disappearance has something to do with one of your cases.

[Guster]:     Fine. Lucas Bordelli was in the mob. He wanted out. He hired Shawn to get the information to insure that would ensure his departure went without a hitch.

[Gibbons]:    And you took the case?

[Guster]:     Shawn took the case. Shawn always takes the case and he always solves the case.

[Gibbons]:    Did he solve this case?

[Guster]:     (pause) I think he did. I got a voice mail and a few text messages that morning.

[Gibbons]:    Yes, the last correspondence you received from Spencer

[Guster]:     Shawn

[Gibbons]:    The last correspondence you received from Shawn was ‘Bordelli.’

[Guster]:     It wasn’t the last correspondence. I missed a call from him last night it only rang once, but it was him.

[Gibbons]:    Mr. Guster, you do know that odds of that call actually being from Shawn, right?

[Guster]:     He must be out of range. Why are you talking to me? You should bet out there looking for Shawn.

[Gibbons]:    We are trying to help your friend, Gus. And we need your help. Do you have any idea why Spencer would mention Bordelli?

[Guster]:     I think Shawn thought Bordelli was behind this.

[Gibbons]:    Lucas Bordelli, your client?

[Guster]:     We didn’t know any other Bordellis. My guess would be Bordelli hired us to gather information on the current mob family, but he was planning a take-over not an escape.

[Gibbons]:    You got all this from a word in a text message.

[Guster]:     Shawn and I work the cases together. I put it together. Have you even brought Bordelli in for questioning.

[Gibbons]:    Mr. Guster, there is no listing for a Lucas Bordelli anywhere in the Santa Barbara. Is there any reason you or your partner would be a target?

[Guster]:     I’m sure we’ve made some enemies in the past few years.

[Gibbons]:    Is there any reason why your partner, a psychic would willing walk to his death.

[Guster]:     Shawn’s not.

[Gibbons]:    Not what?

[Guster]:     Shawn’s going to kill me for saying this, but he’s not a psychic. He’s a hell of a detective, but there’s no way he could have guessed something like that was coming.

[Gibbons]:    Spencer’s not psychic?

[Guster]:     You need to have all the facts, right? That’s what Shawn always says and if it might help, that’s something you should know. Shawn’s not psychic. [Pause] And, Gibbons, he’s not dead either.

[end of transcript]

S. Spencer’s cell phone. Recovered and entered into evidence: 5/23/08 at 1:08 PM

The phone was found on the beach outside the Psych office at
low tide. It had sustained severe damaged due to the water, but the memory was
reconstructed as far as possible

Attempted call to B. Guster:
5/9/08, 3:11 AM

Voice Mail from H. Spencer:
5/4/08, 6:15 PM

Shawn you better not be playing. Gus is [unintelligible]. Call

Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 5:52 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 5:31 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 5:15 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 5:00 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 4:51 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 4:39 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 4:33 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 4:33 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 4:15 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 4:04 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:57 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:44 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:29 PM

Text message sent to B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:25 PM
Bordlli.

Voice Mail from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:14 PM
Shawn, I’m at the station, where the hell are you?

Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:06 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:04 PM
Missed call from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:03 PM

Voice Mail from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 3:02 PM
Shawn, the office is on fire on [unintelligible] phone.

Voice Mail from H. Spencer:
5/4/08, 2:21PM

Just [unintelligible] didn’t forget dinner tonight. [unintelligible]

Text message from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 2:18PM
Fine. Who?

Outgoing call made to the number 555-2728: 5/4/08, 2:00PM 
[as of 5/23/08 the number is not in service]

Text Message sent to B. Guster: 5/4/08, 1:59PM
Curious?

Text Message from B. Guster: 5/4/08, 1:57 PM
@ work. Later

Outgoing call made to B. Guster: 5/4/08, 1:43 PM

Voice Mail from unlisted number: 5/4/08, 10:10 AM
[Contents are completely unintelligible]

Voice Mail from unlisted number: 5/3/08, 11:43PM
[voice is muffled] Bet you won’t see this coming, psychic

Interoffice correspondence from Detective J. O’Hara to Interim Chief K. Vick dated 5/19/10

Chief,

I know the thing with Shawn’s case is going to be officially
put away and I just wanted to register my disapproval officially. There’s got
to be some way we can postpone this. Shawn’s last client, Lucas Bordelli still
hasn’t been identified, there’s no body and Chief, what about the pineapple? No
one but Shawn would have left that on my door. He’s still out there. You know,
psychic or not he probably even saw this coming. He’s Shawn.

Even if you choose to close the case, I would like to have
your permission to work on the case on my own time.

Cordially,

Juliet O’Hara

Detective Juliet O’Hara
Santa Barbra police department

One pineapple found on J. O’Hara’s front doorstep. Entered into evidence: 5/9/08 8:33 AM. Origins unknown

There were no accompanying notes and no fingerprints. The pineapple was adorned with a large red bow.

Investigating officer: Richard Gibbons               

(Reclassified as a cold case as of June 2^nd 2010)